Warhammer Fantasy Battle Reporter Forum

I thought it would be fun to have this kind of thread as a sticky for people to add to as strange and amusing things occur throughout their gaming "careers".

Post whatever amusing or wierd experiences you've had in a warhammer battle.

I'll get the ball rolling. This might not necessarily be funny for some but it made me laugh my b@lls off when it happened...


I was playing a Lizardmen army (almost 10 years ago now, I'm not sure what edition of the rules) against a Dwarf army.

My opponent was extremely Dwarven (short with lots of hair) and very fond of his army and his record (of beating my Orcs & Goblins mainly !).

Anyway, after filling his butt with arrows from a Wood Elf encounter he did not enjoy (he claimed that he could not possibly beat such a bunch of girls who never wanted to get into combat) I decided to start a Lizardmen army to take the battle to him.

It was the days of old when massively powerful heroes would nearly always win the day, it was the bad old days in my opinion and Dwarfs had the best heroes going.

I hummed and harred for days about my character choices and army list in general. I began to come to the opinion that I couldn't beat his dwarf force in combat (and we're talking about eons ago, well before the Anvil of Stone and Thorek gunline).

SO, it was sneaky tactics time, time to do what only the Old Ones in all their wisdom could have mustered up. Yep, I was on the hunt for broken rules and I found them.

It wasn't like today when there aren't really many "broken" rules (some might argue that some armies have the mastery in the Warhammer World but it was nothing like the old days when if you searched around a bit you could find something really nasty.... and I did

It was called the heart of woe, I think it was ressurected in an old Dark Elf book. In the edition we were playing it was a magic item card and anyone could take it (if I remember rightly).

I baited him with a Slann mage priest and temple guard. He knew he would best them in combat, he knew very well because he sent his big boss after them (at a very slow pace). in fact all he really did was deploy them opposite my Mage Priest and plod forward a bit.

While I peppered his other flanks with arrows (like the skinks in the Southlands list, if it still exists), he drew confidence knowing that he would wipe out a large proportion of my force in one combat.

I deftly maneuvered some cold one riders into place to cut off any other stunties heading in my Slann's direction and let him come on.

Intercepting his reinforcements I charged into combat with my slann, he indeed made short work of my 25 strong unit with his dwarf elites and as he brought his hammer down for the final death dealing blow on my Slann it must have been a shock for his king to see the Heart of Woe tied about the Slann's neck.

It was too late, he slayed my slann and the Slann exploded and killed 19 dwarfs. The remaining temple Guard cleaned up and my favourite ever last words of a vanquished enemy were heard...

"OK, let's go to the pud then"

We were playing Warbands and my brother had a Dark Elf sorceress with some magic item where he could sacrifice a band member to add to his power die roll. Well, he used the ability twice in the same phase. His magic did nothing to the Dwarf army...but he did fail the break test and run off the table. Before the Dwarf army ever got a turn they won in a Massacre with the only two casualties being done in the game being done with the Sacrificial Dark Elf blade. It was hysterical.

Vampire Counts, goblins, chaos VS Highelves

I think it was 1k, 1k, 1k VS 3k

The high elf player (my brother) went a melee army.

Back in 6th edition, mages added their powerdice to the main pool and any wizard could use them.
I fielded Heinrik, he could cast spells over and over again

My goblin friend went as many small goblin shamans as he could, and so did chaos.
Heinrik had a ton of power dice at his disposal. Casting 4 Gaze of Nagash spells per turn wiped out entire units from the board.
That much power, Heinrik had to miss cast. He took a wound from a miscast, shrugged it off, and kept casting.

" Its not fair! You guys are cheating! Its impossible for me to win! " came from across the other side of the table. Me and my 2 allies laughed so hard we were on the ground in pain..

Brilliant ! LOL

It's better when it's your brother or a really old school mate, there's enough "history" for you to take maximum advantage of your outrageously unfair gamesmanship

... and you know you are free to laugh your nuts off at them because you know they'll be getting their own back sooner or later

I love it, thanks for sharing.

Ok 1500 points dwarves vs vamps vs bretonnia. I managed to sneak 5 blood knights in as my only special/rare choice, which was the decider. Me and dwarves teamed up on bretonnia cause he usually wipes the floor with us with his all mounted army. My blood knights flank charge his Grails. He's superbly confident because he has never seen bloods charge. Out of 18 grails, 3 survive the first turn of combat. Next turn, i wipe the rest out (including his general) causing his whole battle line to flee. yeah, that helped.

There's nothing better than wiping the smile off the face of the superbly confident

Nice job Eagle.

I was facing off against a wood elf player last week, and marched a unit of 20 High Elf spearmen directly toward 20 glade guard and 2 spellsingers without any cover whatsoever. By turn three the unit was within charge range, but the only surviving elf was the unit's champion. One of the spellsingers (who also happened to be the general) was standing around on his own, so the champion charged him, won combat and proceeded to run him into the ground.

Here's the kicker: The other spellsinger detached from the unit of glade guard, moved to get LOS, took a pot shot with his bow and killed the champ.

my greenskins were playing high elves and 2 turns after my 6 fanatics were released, a lone lv 2 high elf mage was hit by 2 fanatics. Wow. After rolling both 1's for number of hits, then rolled a 1 and a 5. SO he lived being hit by 2 fanatics. I laughed and said well that just sucks. Then the high elf player turn, the mage miscasts and takes a str 4 hit and dies. He replied well thats karma for you. Its was quite funny.

lol

thanks Badger and Sever I enjoyed that, keep them coming.

i could fill this sit with stories

once my brother got one of his units flattened and rolled his break test.

after the role we added up the points he had lost by and it came up as 24!

one time i was playing a warband of Bretonnia vs vampire counts and on my first turn after he moved i charged his general vamp and killed him. after that the unit crumbled and he just gave up. i got a massacre after one move =)

I was playing Bretonnia vs Chaos and I had 6 Leadbelchers in my army so we could play a bigger battle. I was facing two players with chaos.
In the middle of the game they tried to charge me with a unit of cavalry with a special characther in it( I can't remember the names of the cav unit of the characther). Any way, next to the unit they would charge next turn stod the Leadbelchers and I had them in units of two. Two of the units could fire against the cav unit and they did. One unit fired 13shoots and the other on fired 20shoots wiping out the cav unit.
Its said before but I say it again, it's fun to wipe the smile of someones face. But in this case I did wipe the smile of two persons faces .

Lol,

I guess that frees up some unexpected painting time.